Ryan Ripley . Com

A few days ago I traded in my beloved Mazda Miata, and got myself a Ford Escape. For those that know me, you’ll understand that this act in and of itself was somewhat traumatic for me. I love that little car. However, a 1/2 hour commute in the winter is not fun when the back wheels are spinning all over the place and you aren’t quite sure if you’ll keep control of the car as you merge onto highway traffic. Hence, the purchase of an SUV.

It turns out that giving up one of my favorite toys would not be the only difficult event of this transaction. My local DMV is absolutly crazy. Here is a quick run through of my hour and a half of fun.

I walk in the door and am immediately greeted and checked in. Within seconds a woman at a terminal calls my name, and I find myself in the door and being helped in under a minute. Promising begining, eh? One minute of hope, 89 minutes of agony.

See, I needed to do two things at the license branch which is apparently a big no no. I needed to transfer my old license plate from my Miata to my Escape AND I needed to get a new license with my new address. My wife and I bought a house 5 months ago and I still had a license with the address to our old apartment. Now the fun begins…

Clerk: Sir, I need something with your new address on it.
Me: The title to my new car has my new address on it, use it.
Clerk: Sorry sir, I can’t use the title. I need something else.
Me: You can’t use the title?
Clerk: No.
Me: Why not? It’s a legal document proving ownership of a vehicle.
Clerk: DMV Policy.
Me: Ok, I really don’t have anything else on me… Wait, here’s my old registration, it has my new address on it.
Clerk: Great, we’ll use that.
Me: Wait. You guys issued me this registration with my new address but have my old address in your computer?
Clerk: Umm… Yeah, it says here that you live in Warsaw…
Me: I moved from Warsaw over 2 years ago, and had an apartment here… That address is currently on my license…
Clerk: Oh.
Me: So you guys have issued me two documents in the past that have two different addresses on them, and neither of these addresses are in your computer system now?
Clerk: Looks like it.
Me: Your system sucks.

Blank stare from the clerk.

Clerk: Ok sir, we have your license ready to go, let’s do your title transfer…

After about 20 minutes of typing away, the clerk calls over her manager and proceeds to explain to her that she has no idea how to a title transfer with their new system. I sat there listening in. 15 m inutes later and more typing.

Clerk: Ok sir, I have this straight now… All we have to do is get your wife added to this title and we are all set. What is her name?
Me: Kristin Ripley
Clerk: We don’t have a Kristin Ripley
Me: Her maiden name is Deible
Clerk: Ah, here she is. We’ll have to change her record before we can continue.

After 20 minutes of typing away, the clerk calls over her manager again and proceeds to explain to her that she has no idea how to change a last name. I am angry now.

Me: Wait. My wife has a new license with her new last name, and she got it here…
Clerk: Ah, I see that right here on my screen.
Me: So why is her name not changed in your system, you issued her a new license?
Clerk: I have no idea.
Me: Your system sucks.

Blank stare from the clerk. 20 minutes later…

Clerk: Ok sir all you have to do is pay…

So I pay…

Clerk: Sir, it looks like you lived in a different county would you like to register to vote?
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I HAVE LIVED IN THIS COUNTY FOR OVER 2 YEARS! I AM REGISTERED TO VOTE IN THIS COUNTY, I VOTED IN THE LAST ELECTION! IT SAY RIGHT THERE ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN THAT I AM ALREADY REGISTERED! YOUR SYSTEM SUCKS!!!!

The manager quickly steps in…

Manger: Here’s your receipt sir, have a nice day.
Me: It’s the middle of the night (7pm), your watch and your system suck!!